“I remember wishing that it happened to me because if it had been me everyone would’ve remembered me in the same way that he was getting remembered. I felt like if it had been me then everyone would have remembered me in this amazing way. And no one would’ve ever had to find out that I was gay.”
Gus Kenworthy
opened his Time Magazine interview with a heartfelt story about the death of a childhood friend. At the tender age of fourteen, Kenworthy was so pressured by the burden of his ‘deficit’ that he wished he had been the one to fall off of the snow cat and not his friend. The gruesome death of getting caught in the vehicle’s tracks and being run over, at the time seemed easier than having his gayness be known.
The British-born American freestyle skier attributes the worry he felt as a result of his ‘deficit’ as what propelled him to succeed in academics and in sports. Kenworthy pushed himself in both areas to compensate for what he thought was wrong with him at the time…being gay.
“I had it in my mind that I wanted to come out as number one in the world because I felt like no one can talk shit when you’re the best.” ₁
At the 2016 X Games in Aspen, Colorado, Kenworthy showed his versatility by coming in at second place in the Superpipe and Slopestyle events. He would then capture first place honors in the following three events he participated in, the Grand Prix at Mammoth Mountain, Air + Style in Pasadena, California and Park City, Utah. ₂
Feeling empowered by his dominance on the ski slopes, Kenworthy took to Twitter to make a bold statement.
Contentment came almost immediately after this bold move, as people from all walks of life expressed their support for Kenworthy. October 22nd was like a birthday for him, he’d never been happier than in that moment. He could finally be himself.
Soon enough he would sign endorsements with Head & Shoulders (Procter & Gamble) shampoo, United Airlines, Visa, Toyota, Samsung, Ralph Lauren, and Chobani, as a positive influence for the LGBTQ community. ₃ He didn’t stop there, he even linked with Teen Vogue for an insightful video titled, “The 8 Things You Should Never Say To Your Gay Friends.” Kenworthy alongside Phillip Picardi, the digital editorial director for Teen Vogue, address misconceptions and stereotypes commonly associated with gay people. Several things listed in the video are things I’ve routinely heard, such as women saying, “I love gay boys” or “Do you wanna be my gay best friend,” things people may not realize can rub people the wrong way.
Why?
In doing research on Kenworthy, I became curious as to why his story is such a big deal. Not to say I’m not impressed or appreciative of it, but the deeper ‘why’ is what needs to be discussed. Why is it a big deal when someone comes out? Why do people feel like they need to hide in the first place? To answer the first question simply, it’s a big deal because it’s a huge risk. Opening up about something that is not the norm is never easy, and is always subject to criticism. When it comes to sexuality that criticism can be much worse. I’m not able to speak with Kenworthy, but I was able to speak with a friend of mine who does identify as gay and his response to my ‘why’ was:
The LGBT community, especially within the sports community, feel the need to stay “closeted” because of the way society views them as a whole. Society categorizes and labels people based on pre-misconceptions. Labels can be very demeaning in our society and people will be quick to tear someone down because of how they classify themselves.” ₄
Many of the perceptions of gays are stereotypes. The Huffington Post’s Murray Lipp details these in Myths and Stereotypes That Dehumanize Gay Men Must Be Challenged: Start With These 10!Gender: “Gay men are all feminine”This is rightfully #1, it’s gotta be the most prominent of all perceptions of gay men. Not all gay men express themselves (speech, fashion, behavior) in ways that are typically considered feminine. This perception is so common, I’d imagine, because the gay men that don’t act in ways that are viewed as feminine aren’t wearing shirts that say, “I’m gay.” So the idea of a gay man being masculine is foreign to many. Foreign…but not fictional
- Personality: “Gay men are into fashion, have tidy apartments, and love Madonna!”I’m trying to figure out why #2 is a thing…the only reason I can think of is that like #1, the gay men that people see (and are aware that they’re gay) happen to be well dressed. Tv is probably also to blame, we don’t get to see gays in sitcoms that aren’t into fashion and super tidy. But attributing those qualities to a sexuality is foolish. A man likes a man, so he must be trendy and stylish, and a neatfreak? That makes sense…(sarcasm)
- Childhood: “Male homosexuality is caused by parenting or trauma in childhood”The notion that people become gay because they were abused sexually or because their mother was “overly involved” (if there’s even such a thing) is not based on fact. There’s no evidence that can back that, and in many cases, many gays have no history of being abused.
- Sexual Attraction: “Gay men are attracted to all men and can’t control their desires”This is the critical for folks to understand. This is probably why heterosexual men feel uncomfortable around homosexual men. Just like a straight man won’t be attracted to every woman he comes in contact with, a gay man won’t be attracted to every man he comes in contact with. Out of the four I’ve listed, I’d say this is one of the bigger reason gays feel the need to stay “closeted”, because close-minded men will feel uncomfortable. ₅
Offensive and oppressive. Two things these misconceptions can be if they go un-challenged. People really believe these, and live their lives viewing gays based on unfair, false concepts that are never based on facts. So why is it a big deal when gays come out? Because they are subjecting themselves to all of the foolishness in the list above. Why do they feel the need to hide? Because of the foolishness in the list above and many other reasons.
Why is Gus Kenworthy a legend? He kissed a man on live television for the world to see. Something you don’t see from male athletes, or gay male athletes. Kenworthy is breaking barriers for people like himself, and even others, because his courage can be inspirational to anyone, gay or straight.
- “Gus Kenworthy Is The First Openly Gay Winter Olympian | TIME.” YouTube, Time Magazine, 15 Dec. 2017, www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNpIOjjjm2U.
- “Gus Kenworthy.” U.S. Ski & Snowboard, usskiandsnowboard.org/athletes/gus-kenworthy.
- Wilke, Mike. “Why Has Gus Kenworthy Racked up Lucrative Endorsements While Adam Rippon Has Not (Yet)?” Queerty*, Queerty, 18 Feb. 2018, http://www.queerty.com/gus-kenworthy-racked-lucrative-endorsements-adam-rippon-not-yet-20180218.
- Dyer, Gary, and Stephen Harper. “Struggles of Being Gay.” 4 Apr. 2018.
- Lipp, Murray. “Myths and Stereotypes That Dehumanize Gay Men Must Be Challenged: Start With These 10!” The Huffington Post, TheHuffingtonPost.com, 7 Dec. 2017, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/murray-lipp/gay-men-myths-stereotypes_b_3463172.html.
Activism In Sports 